After four years, I finally celebrated Holi again. Holi is the festival of colors which brings together family members, neighbors and the entire community to celebrate, throw colors at each other, dance, sing and eat specially prepared foods for this occasion. It is not just celebrated in one’s home, the entire city is the playground and everything is fair game. You can spray colored water or throw balloons filled with water at complete strangers, at motorcycle riders, at bicyclists, pedestrians or virtually anyone unless they turn out be Muslims which will not be received well, I say this from experience. Similarly, along with food, most people intake copious amounts of alcohol and some also take bhaang – traditional hallucinogen. Needless to say, these substances add much flair and boisterousness to the celebration, sometimes leading to fist fights.
Celebrating Holi in America is different though. It’s more civil and celebration is usually scheduled at a chosen location which could be a public park, university grounds, a temple or someone’s backyard. There is no intake of alcohol or stimulants, if held in the public space, at least in theory. Number of food delicacies are kept to a minimum and it is usually catered by one or more restaurants. Likewise, you don’t celebrate it with your neighbors but with people assembled at the venue. Despite these obvious differences, I enjoyed celebrating Holi after four years. You may ask, if I enjoy Holi so much, why did I skip in the past years? The answer is: dreadlocks. I had dreads for those years and did not want color to get into those. I know it sounds like a lame excuse but I had read online that dreads soak up contaminants very easily and once colors get into locks, it is hard to get them out. Since my scalp is dry, I was already tired of routinely applying tea tree oil to moisturize them and more itch was the last thing I wanted. This had sounded like a good compromise until I saw an African American man today at Holi celebration with dreads colored in blue, green, red, orange and yellow. First, I was jealous of his dreads and second, felt pretty stupid for skipping on Holi during the last several years.
This year’s Holi also made me realize of four F’s that I miss as an immigrant in the US. It has been more than six years since I moved to the US and I have assimilated into this culture to a large extent but I still miss what I missed within a few months of my arrival.
1. Food – I missed food from Day One and I still do, probably always will. You know they say, “You are what you eat” and rightly so. No matter where I go, I will always miss the food that I ate growing up. The culinary bond formed from an early age is strong and the fact that most American food is pretty bland does not help either.
2. Family – This is an obvious one too. I miss my family. Great, who does not? We are social beings and have a deeper bond with our parents and siblings than most other species. Within Homo Sapiens, this bond is deeper in some parts of the world than others. Perhaps because Nepal is underdeveloped or because of our culture or religion, whatever the reason is, the bond between family members is much stronger than what I have noticed among many Americans, not all.
3. Festivals – The notion of festivals is different in some circles but when I say festivals, I am referring to those that have cultural or religious roots and have been observed for a long time. Festivals are the time to celebrate. Parents are less stingy during festivals and buy their kids new clothes, shoes or items of choice. The only times I got new clothes were during festivals. I am serious, I literally had to wait for festivals to arrive for new clothes. Now, I am not that materialistic anymore but I still miss festivals because it was the occasion to celebrate with family members, relatives, neighbors and the community at large. Celebrations were never complete without food. Festival is in many ways, equivalent to eating lots of delicious food without any guilt because it is offered to the Gods first so, it is just prasad (God’s gift). Many festivals have their own unique delicacies that are specially prepared only during those particular festivals. These food have no English translations because every region seems to have their own version or completely different foods for the same festival. I am convinced that as tribes evolved, so did their foods consumed during festivals.
4. Friends – Is friendship universal? In other words, is it possible to move to a completely new place or country and make a new friend who will stand by you in good and bad times just the same like an old friend you just left behind did? I will leave this question for you to ponder on because I do not know the answer to this yet. Immigrants have to work harder to adjust to the new place and make new friends gradually who understand them. Hopefully, new friends appreciate their differing viewpoints and realize that viewpoints are based on life experiences, which may be similar or different. It is commonly said, “If you live in Rome, live like a Roman”. In other words, assimilate in the immediate environment for your own good. While I agree with this, I do not expect immigrants to assimilate completely unless it is purely their choice. The life on Earth sustains itself because of the rich flora and fauna. Biodiversity is a boon to the survival of every species. Within Homo Sapiens, we should celebrate diversity amongst us. It should be a reason to rejoice and unite us not divide. I realize I have digressed from my discussion on friendship. I miss my friends from back home. The bond between us was strong and we knew each other’s secrets which mostly was who has a crush on who. Since I went to a boarding school for nine years and so did everyone who attended the school, my friends and I grew up together. We played sports, learned from each other, fought occasionally, did mischievous things and stood by each other in times of need for nine years. After we graduated from high school in Nepal, we dispersed along different trajectories pursuing our own dreams and have little to no idea about what most of us are doing or where they are. Despite this, if we happen to meet each other by planning or complete coincidence, we reminisce about our school life and talk as if we had never been separated.
Besides these four Fs, I have gradually started to appreciate the importance of culture in my life more.
1. Culture – It is difficult to define culture but it is what you make of it. If aliens were to visit our planet, they would certainly notice the difference in the way Homo Sapiens lead their lives in different regions of the same country, continent or the world. The set of practices, beliefs, dress style and the sense of what is right or appropriate all constitute this loose term “culture”. Having lived in America, one of the most developed nations, I appreciate the culture that I left behind. The details of what and why I appreciate is a topic of its own, best left for another post.